Allotting extra time to get to the start, I thought I was being smart.\u00a0 And I guess I was as I needed just about every moment.\u00a0 Despite the fact the start line was very close by, at the Roman Amphitheater, apparently that\u2019s a different thing than the amphitheater google maps was taking me.<\/p>\n
I got lost.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 I kept asking for directions but my Arabic\/French was as bad as everyone else\u2019s English.\u00a0 I was near tears as I couldn\u2019t even figure out which direction I came from, let alone which direction I needed to be heading.<\/p>\n
Welcome to Tunisia.<\/em><\/p>\n Fortunately I spotted a guy in a race official jacket and ran toward him.\u00a0 He reassured me I had plenty of time – \u201cit was no problem,\u201d he said, a phrase I would later grow to hate.\u00a0 But here I was relieved and lucky and felt like things were back on track.<\/p>\n Welcome to Tunisia!<\/em><\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t far … I was never REALLY far from it… I was just running in circles and getting nowhere fast.\u00a0 I wound up adding 2 miles to my morning before the race even started.<\/p>\n Despite not appearing anywhere on my google map search, the Roman Amphitheater is real.\u00a0 And it\u2019s a cool place to start an event.<\/p>\n I met a guy who had returned to Tunisia to run this race after having been living in France the last few years.\u00a0 He said he was only doing the half and I told him that was great.\u00a0 He said he was signed up for Rome in March and his doctor wasn\u2019t sure about doing two marathons in two months.\u00a0 I nodded and said you have to listen to your doctor knowing full well the ironic hypocrisy of that statement coming from me.<\/p>\n He also told me there were a lot of hills so it\u2019d be good training for Rome.<\/p>\n Hills.\u00a0 Swell.<\/p>\n Welcome to Tunisia.<\/em><\/p>\n There were apparently 1000 races across all the events – 10k, Half, Full.\u00a0 There were at least 30 nationalities represented.\u00a0 The race announcements were done in Arabic, French and even sometimes in English.<\/p>\n Welcome to Tunisia.<\/em><\/p>\n All distances started at the same time.\u00a0 With a stirring rendition by the crowd of what I assumed was the Tunisian National Anthem, the final countdown was on.<\/p>\n I glanced down at my Hanna Solo shirt and noticed I had misspelled \u201cTunisia.\u201d\u00a0 Which means all the artwork I\u2019ve put online and this shirt are a massive testament to my poor proofreading skills and general incompetence.\u00a0 As long time readers will recall, this isn\u2019t the first time I\u2019ve missed an \u201cI.\u201d<\/a>\u00a0 I must really hate “I.”\u00a0 Freud and Jung would have a field day with that I\u2019m sure.<\/p>\n Note: I feel like I\u2019m being gaslit.\u00a0 I just double checked the image on Facebook, Instagram, and on this very website.\u00a0 Ya know what?\u00a0 It\u2019s spelled correctly \u2013 t-u-n-i-s-i-a.\u00a0 I already was annoyed the guy charged me $13 to ship the custom t-shirt to me.\u00a0 Now that I know he screwed up the printing I\u2019m even more annoyed\u2026 not so much at him, but mostly at me for ever contacting him. \u00a0Welcome to the internet, I guess.<\/em><\/p>\n At the time the race started however, I was feeling deflated… and I felt worse as the day went on.\u00a0 I\u2019m just going to upload a ton of photos here of the race and occasionally break it up with commentary\u2026 something I did marginally successfully for the Tel Aviv Marathon a few days ago.<\/p>\n The key thing to know about the race is that the course was a complete disaster for a non-native speaker.\u00a0 The reason being that at various points along the course marshals\/volunteers would tell you if you need to turn off or do another loop or whatever.\u00a0 They did it in Arabic and French\u2026 but after the fourth circuit of the N10 road, I finally asked what in the name of Punxsutawney Phil was going on here.\u00a0 I vaguely recalled there were three loops on this course.\u00a0 I\u2019ll admit, I was an ugly American by the third volunteer\/course official marking my laps on their printed out form because 1) I should have five hash marks by my name given the times I\u2019d been around this one loop, and 2) nobody understood me and I didn\u2019t understand them.\u00a0 English wasn\u2019t working and I\u2019m worthless at anything else.\u00a0 And I was frustrated, tired, sick, and just generally misdirected.<\/p>\n Welcome to Tunisia.<\/em><\/p>\n On the fourth circuit, I was finally told to veer off.\u00a0 But again it was at a roundabout and the gesture they made felt like I was supposed to follow the roundabout as I had been doing the previous three times.\u00a0 Finally this woman grabbed my hand and directed me to a BLOCKED OFF, POLICE BARRIERED off ramp that I was supposed to, I don\u2019t know, instinctively sense was the way I was supposed to go.<\/p>\n I did this twice, looping more and more and feeling lost beyond all words.\u00a0 I kept asking if I was going in the right direction.\u00a0 Nobody seemed to understand me.\u00a0 My Garmin continued to rack up the miles.\u00a0 I took some small comfort in overhearing other runners saying they had been sent the wrong way and they weren\u2019t sure which way to go or what to do even now.\u00a0 And to be honest, neither did I. Somebody said we were supposed to make three loops (confirming what I vaguely recalled) — but it was three loops with two out and back lollipops that I hadn\u2019t been directed to in the previous 4 loops I had done.\u00a0 I lost it.\u00a0 I just lost the will to function and I was broken.\u00a0 I cursed the race, I cursed the town, I cursed me, I cursed Pheidippides and the Queen of England circa 1908<\/a>.<\/p>\n As I approached the turn off from this seemingly infinite round and round, a race official told me I still had one more loop to go.\u00a0 My Garmin was at 23.85 miles\u2026 each long loop was something like 3.5-4 miles.\u00a0 If I went again, I\u2019d be WAY over the marathon distance.\u00a0 I refused and told people I was already at almost 39\/40K.\u00a0 There was a lot of arguments, a guy looked at my watch and saw the 23.85 and said I had to go again.\u00a0 Somebody else said that was in miles, not kilometers.\u00a0 I stood my ground and they shoved me to the exit ramp of the never-ending loops.\u00a0 I turned trying to get clarity saying I wasn\u2019t looking to cut the distance short.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not a problem,\u201d someone said, apparently one of the go-to English phrases folks learn to convey that things can be resolved.<\/p>\n Welcome to Tunisia.<\/em><\/p>\n <DIGRESSION><\/em>I need to digress here and delve a little into the phrase, \u201cIt\u2019s not a problem.\u201d\u00a0 I suppose in some ways it\u2019s similar to my common usage of \u201cno worries\u201d or \u201cwe\u2019ll get this sorted\u201d or what have you.\u00a0 But the nuances of the words, the inflection and context, and the idiosyncrasies of language dictate that there is a very large chasm between \u201cit\u2019s not a problem\u201d and \u201cno worries.\u201d\u00a0 And maybe one needs to be a native speaker or have complete fluency of a language to know this.\u00a0 And this is not just about English.\u00a0 I recall very often trying to use colloquial words when I was failing miserably to learn another language\u2026 and to use the local slang as best I could when traveling in another country.\u00a0 But the truth it, I can\u2019t do it in another tongue and folks who say, \u201cIt\u2019s not a problem\u201d in English when it\u2019s not their primary language aren\u2019t using it correctly either.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll explain why \u2013 \u201cno worries\u201d semiotically means \u201cthere\u2019s no need to worry about this, we can fix it, or we can move past this without any need to be upset.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not a problem\u201d semiotically means that a problem does not exist.\u00a0 That\u2019s NOT the same thing.\u00a0 The former either ignores the problem as a thing and skips ahead to a solution or implies that a solution is forthcoming.\u00a0 The latter explicitly denies a problem ever existed.\u00a0 That either misrepresents the situation or baldly rewrites it to the point that the person being told that there is no problem is devalued as a speaker and told they are flat out wrong.\u00a0 In the case above, there IS a problem \u2013 I was routed the wrong way and now the distances are all messed up but if I do ANOTHER loop I\u2019ll be WAY over.\u00a0 It is NOT not a problem.\u00a0 This IS a problem. <\/DIGRESSION><\/em><\/p>\n As I made the final push toward the finish line, I could hear the revelry of the post-run celebrations at the Roman Amphitheater.\u00a0 I realized I was going to be a mile and change short\u2026 so as I detoured into a small neighborhood and ran 3 loops inside of it to get closer to 26.2 miles.<\/p>\n In the end, I was pretty dead on:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Still, I don\u2019t know if they\u2019ll disqualify me or accuse me of cheating for not passing all the timing mats at the various lollipop out and back turnarounds.<\/p>\n At this point, I just needed to get some food and cold medications into me.\u00a0 I popped more than a few sugar cubes that they had out, a couple of de-pitted dates, and wandered back to my AirBNB.<\/p>\n Ons was there feeding her cat (which I successfully avoided letting out this morning\u2026 so score one for me\u2026 and deduct one for breaking a dish I was trying to clean this morning).\u00a0 She asked me how the race was.\u00a0 I told her I had gotten lost repeatedly\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cWelcome to Tunisia,\u201d she said and we both laughed knowingly.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.runkevinrun.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/IMG_2501.jpg\")
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