{"id":38181,"date":"2020-07-07T08:17:13","date_gmt":"2020-07-07T12:17:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.runkevinrun.com\/?p=38181"},"modified":"2020-07-07T08:17:13","modified_gmt":"2020-07-07T12:17:13","slug":"july-7-2020-im-barely-walking-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/?p=38181","title":{"rendered":"July 7, 2020 – I’m (barely) walking here…"},"content":{"rendered":"

It wasn\u2019t said with malice or ill-intent.\u00a0 It was said in that jocular, esprit de corps<\/em> of runners everywhere.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou walking?!\u201d<\/p>\n

A couple of fellow runners I\u2019ve seen in the neighborhood over the years came across my lumbering shuffle, my early morning attempt to keep moving amidst this ongoing healthcare boondoggle I find myself mired in.\u00a0 \u201cOrange Shirt Guy\u201d and \u201cYellow Shirt Guy\u201d were making good time jogging up the road toward me.\u00a0 We\u2019ve never exchanged names\u2026 but we know each other on sight\u2026 and these guys ALWAYS run in orange and yellow shirts, presumably for visibility purposes\u2026 or maybe they\u2019re both just Autumn colors guys.<\/p>\n

I muttered, \u201cI\u2019m injured\u201d and kept shuffling; I saw their joking faces fall with that look of pity and horror people get when they\u2019ve said something that shoves one\u2019s foot in one\u2019s mouth.<\/p>\n

But it was more than that \u2013 it was that look of relief on their faces that said, \u201cbetter you than me.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t blame them \u2013 I tried making deals with the devil to recover and look what it got me?<\/p>\n

This past month has been a careening spiral downward.\u00a0 Attempts to resolve my pain when running have resulted in test showing a huge kidney stone that isn\u2019t bothering me but \u201cmust be addressed.\u201d\u00a0 A script for PT resulted in my visiting a facility that seemed to abide by the opposite of the Hippocratic Oath \u2013 first they did harm.\u00a0 I went from intermittent pain caused by running to constant pain caused by just \u201cbeing\u201d as a result of their \u201ctreatment plan.\u201d\u00a0 What had been an attempt by me to progress toward recovery has damaged me further and sent me back a proverbial two steps with zero steps forward.<\/p>\n

And now apparently somebody else has looked at a CT scan to determine I have something on my lungs which they don\u2019t think is cancerous but who knows?\u00a0 It\u2019s that kind of bedside manner coupled with all these non-running related issues that are not in fact impacting my quality of life in any way that has only sunk me lower.<\/p>\n

Today then was just another twist of the knife when I was asked incredulously, \u201cYou walking?!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOrange Shirt Guy\u201d didn\u2019t mean anything by it\u2026 and yet it meant a lot to me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got ever more co-pay doctor appointments this week.\u00a0 I assume it will be just more of the same.<\/p>\n

I miss running.\u00a0 I miss the stress relief.\u00a0 I miss the sense of self amidst the world and being a part of the world.<\/p>\n

Sigh\u2026 2020.\u00a0 What a year for us all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It wasn\u2019t said with malice or ill-intent.\u00a0 It was said in that jocular, esprit de corps of runners everywhere. \u201cYou walking?!\u201d A couple of fellow runners I\u2019ve seen in the neighborhood over the years came across my lumbering shuffle, my early morning attempt to keep moving amidst this ongoing healthcare boondoggle I find myself mired […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=38181"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38181\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=38181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=38181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runkevinrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=38181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}